In May of 2017, Idiot He announced to Idiot She that on August 21st “Darkness will sweep across the land and we should make a road trip to share this experience with other like-minded people!”
She’s first response was to check to see that he had not gone off his meds (again). When she determined that he was indeed sober and relatively sane, she decided he was making some reference to the sorry state of World Affairs and replied that she was sick of politics and that He could go but She would sit this apocalypse out.
But when He finally explained that the event involved was astronomical – in fact, the rare opportunity to see a total solar eclipse in America’s heartland, She immediately endorsed the plan.
Planning proceeded in typical Idiot fashion. There were a couple of months of dithering and dawdling, followed by 30 minutes of frantic Googling of destinations and facilities. Central Nebraska was the closest “totality” destination. Of course, tourist facilities are limited there and campgrounds had been booked for months in advance. The Idiots found a campground in a small town – 5 motel units and 6 campsites – that would allow them to park in the parking lot as long as they didn’t need any services. The Idiots planned a 4 day expedition… 2 days to drive the 500 miles to the viewing location, a relaxed viewing day, and a longish drive back home.
In a moment of rare common sense, Idiot He ordered eclipse viewing glasses long in advance… 10 for $10…
and then the Idiots promptly forgot about any serious preparation until a couple of days before departure.
On the eve of the expedition, Idiot He saw troubling signs on the weather map. Long range weather forecasts had uniformly predicted sunshine for their little pocket of rural Nebraska. Given the nature of weather predictions, the Idiots should have been more skeptical. As they left the driveway, the forecast read Partly Cloudy… news that made Idiot He’s mood also Partly Cloudy. He formed a Plan B.
Driving the first 230 miles, they arrived in Sioux Falls, South Dakota – and found a McDonalds to use the internet. The weather forecast remained “iffy” for central Nebraska but looked excellent for eastern Wyoming. With a big “Idiot shrug” they bagged their former plans and reservations and headed toward Wyoming.
The spirit of Vincent Van Gogh spends August in South Dakota…
A rare Idiot He selfie…
Long-time readers of the Idiot Chronicles can guess where they would spend the night. It seems that all routes west result in a visit to Badlands NP. The Idiots called ahead and found a spot at an unpretentious little campground in Interior, South Dakota – population 104. As always, the desolate landscapes and sunset were lovely. And in case one might forget that western South Dakota is a desert… the campground cactus garden, complete with skulls, datura, and cholla cactus reminds them.
Ian Tyson – lyrics from Old Corrals and Sagebrush:
I like old corrals and sagebrush
Ponderosa pines
Cowgirls in old pickup trucks
Califonia wines
I love them old time waltzes
George Jones and Emmy Lou
But I'd like nothing better
Than to lay these eyes on you.
Early afternoon on the second day, the Idiots had driven 721 miles and were in greater metropolitan Lusk, Wyoming – population 1,599, elevation 5,020 feet, and the seat of Niobara County, the least populated county in the least populated state in the union. The town was packed with visitors looking for clear skies and avoiding the predicted traffic gridlock in the larger city of Casper, 100 miles to the west.
Lusk’s limited lodgings and campgrounds had been booked long in advance, but the Idiots found a rustic truck stop on the south end of town. Overnight parking was free at the Outpost and RVs from Michigan, Minnesota, and Ontario were already gathered. Idiot She found a commemorative t-shirt at the fairground, prompting the suggestion they head home as they’d “been there, got the t-shirt.”
They instead decided to patronize the restaurant at the Outpost. They forgot what Wyoming truck stop portions are like. Idiot She had a Country Fried Steak breakfast. The Outpost is committed to preventing calorie-deficit, so the immense slab of breaded, fried tenderized steak floated in sausage-enhanced cream gravy, with a side of two eggs, hashbrowns, and toast. Idiot He also ordered from the breakfast menu. “The Outlaw” is a modest little sandwich – two large slabs of French Toast filled with corned beef hash and two eggs and a side of hashbrowns.
The serving size was perfect – each divided perfectly into two full meals. And the reading material confirmed they were in the right place.
Throughout the night, vehicles of all sorts rolled into the Outpost lot. The morning found groups making preparations for the Big Event.
Marie from Ontario describes herself as an aficianado – sounds so much nicer than “eclipse junkie.” She has enjoyed several total eclipses, including viewing the longest one of the century in 2009 from a ship off the coast of Okinawa. She set up an amazing telescope and shared viewing and photographs with dozens of people from around the country.
Idiot She sporting the height of eclipse fashion – cardboard glasses with extension flaps – surrounded by folks from a dozen states.
Through the solar film, the sun appeared orange. Idiot He used film and cardboard to make a filter for his little point-and-shoot camera and got these shots. Standing behind the RV, he could reach around the side and safely frame the shot without risking his vision. A series of sunspots near the middle of the sun’s disc were clearly visible. There were additional sunspots visible near the bottom.
The Grand Event began at 10:24:58AM. The moon – invisible because its lighted side faced away from earth, started to move between the viewers and the sun. It took about 1 hour and 22 minutes for the moon to make its way from the tiniest bite to totality.
Though it was near noon, with totality the sky took on the characteristics of twilight. Eclipse glasses and filters came off and the Idiots were able to observe the unique conditions with normal vision.
The temperature of the sun’s surface is about 6000 degrees, but its atmosphere, the corona, extends millions of miles into space and reaches several million degrees. The corona is invisible from earth – except during total eclipse. It appears as a pearly crown around the occluded disk of the sun’s surface.
The Idiots couldn’t identify any other stars or planets, but Venus was clearly visible.
Totality lasted just under two minutes. At the very end of the occlusion, the jagged rim of the moon’s surface creates the effect of “beads” as the sun begins to reappear. Then the emerging rim creates the “diamond ring” effect. This is the signal to get the glasses and filters back on.
After totality, most of the viewers packed off and headed out. Travelers anxious to head home turned the highways through town into a rarity - a miles long traffic jam. It took some vehicles over an hour to go a mile through town.
The Idiots moved into the Beast, made a nice lunch, played a little pinochle, took naps… and left a few hours later to begin the anti-climactic trip 700+ mile trip back to Minnesota.
