Some travel is about destinations... but there is also joy in road trips. Though the description “boring” is not totally out-of-line, a long drive with no spectacular scenery or tourist stops provides a mid-trip pause... time to think... time to listen to books and music... downtime from the intensity of the cascade of new experiences that can overwhelm a traveler.
It is about 650 miles from El Chalten to Ushuaia. One segment is not paved. There are border crossings into Chile and back into Argentina, and a ferry crossing of the Straights of Magellan to the island of Tierra del Fuego. There are vast expanses of pampas... rolling grasslands with few trees. There are some cattle and sheep, and some oil and gas extraction, but for the most part it is long stretches of lonely highway punctuated infrequently by small, unlovely towns.
Some people try to power through this journey in one day, but the border crossings and the ferry can make that a grueling experiences. There are few lodgings along the way and they are not in ideal locations to break the trip in half. The Idiots decided to make the trip in 3 easy days instead of two difficult days. Traveling easy when possible is a central tenet of Idiot Travel.
The Idiots had different priorities for their Patagonia trip. Idiot She wanted to see penguins and eat great seafood. Idiot He wantd to see the southern Andes. Patagonia was perfect for them – both the mountains and the sea!
But Idiot He was disappointed in one of his goals. For many years he has loved his polar fleece clothing – and some of it is even labeled “Patagonia.” Heading to the southernmost city in the world... the jumping off point for Antarctica... Idiot He was sure that they would be able to find the source of polar fleece – the elusive polar sheep.
In spite of considerable searching, He was unable to find even ONE polar sheep. Not only that – he encountered a wall of silence! Each time he asked local folks about the polar sheep, he just got blank stares. Given the ubiquitous use of polar fleece around the world, He concluded there must be a massive conspiracy to keep huge herds of polar sheep hidden. He fears they may not be well treated... why else the cover-up?
Idiot He has launched a campaign to get honest labeling for polar fleece. He encourages everyone to only buy polar fleece from free-range polar sheep. He has also been unable to ascertain if argans are being treated ethically and how many little argans give their lives every year to feed our seemingly insatiable hunger for argan oil. Argans are on his “caution” list.
They did see sheep. Many sheep. Many many sheep. It is a sign of how not-interesting driving the pampas can be that Idiot He made numerous stops to photograph sheep... and had so few bird sightings that he worked hard to get a photo of... well... he thinks it is a sparrow.
Have they mentioned the wind? The winds are so persistent that on the rare occasion they stop, people look around and say “what was that?!” In fact, one of the serious tips the Idiots received from their rental car guy was “always park facing into the wind.” Facing into the wind, it can be difficult to open the car doors – but at least they will not be violently ripped open, wrapping around their own hinges.
The special road sign, seen hundreds of times in Patagonia, tells a breezy story. Also... when the grassland was broken with shrubs – they were often black!
Rio Gallegos is one of those “unlovely” little cities along the route. It is a working town... working class people... shipping... fishing... oil production... and the winds and storms of the southern Atlantic give the place a sense of being “beat up” no matter how many coats of paint are applied.
Since it is the most convenient spot to break up a road trip, there are many hotels in Rio Gallegos. Many of them cost under $30 a night, but the Idiots decided to upgrade to the second highest rated hotel in Rio Gallegos, Apart Hotel Austral. It cost $35 a night, with breakfast. It was worth every penny!
The rooms are clean... but “tired.” The hotel owners are spending some money to upgrade, but that mostly shows up in the exterior, lobby, and wall décor. Idiot journal notes on Apart Hotel Austral: “room was reasonably clean... old furniture... no security on streetside window... there was a bed... we slept.”
The wall décor once more reminded the Idiots of the similarity of rock art themes and execution in locations around the world. The pictographs and petroglyphs of Patagonia would be right at home in Kolo, Tanzania, Chaco Canyon, New Mexico, or Lascaux, France. There is a cave in Patagonia – too far north for the Idiots to be able to visit – called Cuevos del Manos – Cave of the Hands. The 9000 year-old pictographs of handprints there are similar to those found in hundreds of sites around the world, dating back at least 31,000 years.
What does an Idiot Traveler do when the day has been a bit melancholy – leaving behind the Andes for the unstimulating vistas of the pampas – and a night in a whistle-stop, ackluster old city hotel?
Find some good ice cream, of course!
What does an Idiot Traveler do when the hotel breakfast is ho-hum? Well... these Idiots got lost trying to find their way out of Rio Gallegos on Sunday morning and stumbled across a great little bakery in a house in a run-down residential neighborhood... and walked out with a big box of goodies!
A tip for travelers – if you put “bakery” into your English-to-Spanish translator, you are likely to get panaderia. There are actually four words you need to know. You go to a panaderia to get pan – bread. You go to a pasteleria to get pastels – cakes. You go to a dulceria to get dulces – sweets. You might also visit a confiteria producing confites – confections. A great day would be visiting good versions of all four!
Day two of the drive started off with more wide open spaces. About 50 miles brought them to the border crossing into Chile... and another 30 miles to the ferry and the crossing to Tierra del Fuego. The Idiots looked forward to a boat ride and views on the Straits. The reality was less scenic – more like the inside of a sardine can. Another entry in the really bad selfie contest...
In his research, He discovered there is a rare, small colony of King penguins on Tierra del Fuego. King penguins – second largest penguins after the Emperors – are usually only found in very remote locations... like Antarctica and the South Georgian Islands. But for unknown reasons, one group of them decided they would live year-round on Tierra de Fuego, just across the Straits from the mainland. A private preserve, Parque Pinguino Rey, has been created to protect them. Many tourists visit Punta Arenas and Ushuaia by cruise ship, so the boat trips to the large colonies of Magellanic penguins on Isla Magdalena and Isla Martillo have a multitude of visitors. Not so this small preserve in an out-of-the-way corner of Tierra del Fuego.
Online booking sites indicate there are no lodgings near the parque. Idiot He stumbled across an exception. A small Chilean village, Cerro Sombrero (“Hat Hill”), has 670 people, a gas station, and a hosteria. The gas station sometimes has gas. The hosteria was originally built to provide a stop for truckers but has recently modernized and now hosts some small groups of travelers heading for the penguin reserve. There is a small restaurant next door – and the hosteria and restaurant are the only game in town. There is pretty much no food or lodging for several hours in all directions from there.
The Idiots made a reservation at this remote spot via email to make it possible to visit the penguins the next day. The hotel sign/clock once again struck the Idiots. The Native dancers here at the end of the earth wear costumes very reminiscent of the Hopi and Zuni kachinas, about 10,000 miles away... The surrounding are stark – but the thistles are pretty!
The King penguins apparently have a pretty good union. They get one day off a week. The preserve is closed on Mondays. The Idiots learned this from a poster at the hosteria on Sunday night. Idiot He felt like... an idiot!
But He is a stubborn Idiot, so the next morning he insisted on departing the tarmac and heading out to the penguin reserve. They found it – and it was indeed closed. He had hoped it would be one of those “kind of” closed places but that they might make an exception... or ignore people walking to viewpoints. This was not the case. It was VERY closed.
After the three aborted attempts to go to Isla Magdalena from Punta Arenas, Idiot He was determined to get them a look at the King penguins. He drove up a distant hill and went off the road onto a rocky overlook. Gazing out over grasslands stretching to the shores of the Straits... with sheep and waterfowl... it seemed impossible to sight the penguins. But with binoculars and the camera telephoto... they spotted them! A very partial success – but better than total failure!
After retracing their dusty tracks to the pavement, the Idiots drove through hundreds of miles of stark landcapes...
which made it all the more spectacular when th mountains of southern Tierra del Fuego welcomed them to the end of the earth – Ushuaia and Fin del Mundo.
